Kids are stupid.

I was at the movies, and as I was waiting for the movie to start, a trailer for the Shrek the 3rd movie was playing. The stupid little children sitting next to me started laughing real loud everytime dumbass Shrek did something stupid. I couldn’t enjoy the movie that I was watching because the fucking kids never got quiet. And they stinked too. So I left and sneaked into the other movie, which was 28 Weeks Later. (Movie kicked ass!)
I fucking hate the sound of kids laughing. Imagine some rich asshole offer you 500,000 dollars to laugh, sneeze, fart, vomit, pee and cough all at the same time. And you only get ONE chance to do it. That same feeling you get when you fail getting the 500,000 dollars is the same feeling I get when I hear a kid laugh.

Fuck kids. They don’t deserve to breathe. In fact, they don’t deserve to laugh. Most little kids that watch movies, such as Shrek, are only 5 years old. How can they decide what’s so funny? So fuck kids.

I’ll laugh for them. And if I ever watch a movie and something funny happens, I will tap on the shoulder of the closest kid I can find and I’ll tell him, “That shit was funny”, then I will command him to laugh. Or I’ll fucking punch his stomach.

Anyway, when the movie was over, I decided to check out some girls outside the theater. As I was standing outside, a group of 8 little kids walked out of the theater repeating some lines from the fucking Shrek 3 movie.

Now I hate Shrek.

What’s up with Shrek anyway? He’s an ogre? Fuck ogres.

Back to my story: I couldn’t take it anymore. I told the kids to shut the hell up. Then, their stupid dad told me, “Hey! Don’t talk to my kids like that.“And their fucking mom jumped in, “what’s going on?“.

Since I was not in a good mood, I picked up one of their kids, and I used him like a baseball bat to hit some homeruns. I hit the all of the little fuckers out of the parking lot. The dad came up to me, so I kicked him so hard in the nuts that his testicles popped out of his eye sockets.

I headbutted their mom in the chest and left her with bruised titties. And I could have sworn that her nipples fell off. No wonder I saw something that looked like pepperoni on the floor.

By the way, their mom looked like a real freak. If I were to have sex with her, I really wouldn’t need to do anything. All I have to do is provide the cum.

Another thing about kids that I hate is the clothes they wear.

Why do their shirts look like wallpaper? Their clothes are fucking ugly. I’m glad I’m not a little kid anymore.

I also hate their shoes. Some kids are so retarded that they get slip-ons because they don’t know how to tie their shoes. And they don’t know how to tie their shoes because their parents are too stupid to teach them how.

*SIGH* People!

I remember a while back, I was at the zoo, and I had some cotton candy. Out of nowhere, some little girl grabs my bag of cotton candy and tried to take it from me. But I held on and I pulled the bag so hard that the little bitch fell on the floor.

Take that, super-bitch.

What the hell was she thinking? I was not going to let that bitch take my candy. I can tell that she was, and probably still is, a spoiled bitch that thought she could have anything she wanted.

And her parents got mad at ME.

Fuck you, Super-Bitch’s parents!

Why do these assholes bother defending their spoiled kids? They come back from work, relax on the couch, and enjoy the silence. Then one of their kids ruins their moment by asking stupid questions. “Daddy, why is red…red?“

Kids are so fucking stupid. We need to make new child labor laws.

~ by michaeldealba on May 31, 2007.